February 14th, St.
Valentine's Day, is viewed by modern cynics as a commercialized explosion of red and pink, a "Hallmark holiday" designed to force lovers into spending money on cards, roses and heart-shaped chocolate boxes -- or face the unhappy consequences.
Mandatory romance is like homework. Love should never be expressed through a sense of obligation, only a genuine desire to show depth of feeling and bring a smile to your sweetheart's face. Overhyped though it may be, Valentine's Day presents a golden opportunity for lovers the world over to demonstrate -- with thoughtful surprises and romantic tokens -- just how much they cherish and appreciate that special person in their life.
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The History of St. Valentine's Day
There are three saints named Valentine (or Valentinus) recognized by the Catholic Church. All of them were martyrs, but accounts of the lives they led are difficult to verify.
A famous legend related to the origins of St. Valentine's Day concerns one of these saints, who had the misfortune to become imprisoned. He fell in love with a young girl who visited him in jail and wrote her a letter before his death, signed, "from your Valentine," which is said to have inspired the modern-day expression and the tradition of exchanging handwritten "valentines."
Another legend contends that St. Valentine, a priest, defied the Roman emperor Claudius II, who had forbidden young men from marrying, in order to produce more focused soldiers. When St. Valentine objected to this and performed marriages in secret, the emperor had him executed.
In a different legend, St. Valentine was martyred in Rome for refusing to give up his Christian faith.
It is uncertain why February 14th was chosen as the date to commemorate St. Valentine. It may have been the date on which the saint died a martyr. But it also coincides with the ancient Roman pagan fertility festival of Lupercalia, during which young men and woman were coupled by choosing names out of an urn in lottery fashion, a practice later outlawed by the Catholic Church.
Some scholars credit Geoffrey Chaucer for connecting St. Valentine's Day with romance. In 1380, he wrote this line in his
Parlement of Foules: “on Seynt Valentynes day,/Whan every foul cometh there to chese (choose) his make (mate).”
While handmade valentine cards were exchanged as long ago as the Middle Ages, it was Victorian England which most fully and enthusiastically embraced this sentimental holiday, transforming it into the romantic tour de force that it was destined to become. By the 1800s, sweethearts in the United States had also begun exchanging mass-produced cards and tokens on Valentine's Day.
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When you're sifting through those piles of chocolate boxes this year and ordering roses at the florist's, keep in mind the rich tradition surrounding the approaching holiday. Though it has unquestionably become commercialized and distorted, Valentine's Day is not, at its heart, about stress or dollar amounts.
It's about love, honoring the irrefutable existence of the most beautiful, magical, fragile, elusive, fulfilling, bewildering aspect of human existence.
And although Valentine's Day comes just once a year, there's no need to wait until February rolls around to make certain your beloved realizes how precious he or she is to you. Sometimes everyday gestures -- like love notes (and e-mails), impromptu dates, or just helping out with a humdrum chore unexpectedly -- mean more than all the glossy, glittery Hallmark cards in the world.
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