SeaHeart~
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Moving Day!
I miss my Sweetheart horribly... and we've only been apart for three days. x.X
We used to go literal months without seeing each other- and I felt that I'd left part of myself in another place- my better half, to be truthful. I don't think anyone on this planet realizes the amount of joy in my heart... knowing that- on Saturday- this long distance relationship DIES.
And is reborn into something more beautiful than any butterfly.
We WON. We TRIUMPHED. Everything we ever wished for is coming true.
And I sing my praises to the heavens in quiet exaltation.
I'm coming home on Saturday.
We used to go literal months without seeing each other- and I felt that I'd left part of myself in another place- my better half, to be truthful. I don't think anyone on this planet realizes the amount of joy in my heart... knowing that- on Saturday- this long distance relationship DIES.
And is reborn into something more beautiful than any butterfly.
We WON. We TRIUMPHED. Everything we ever wished for is coming true.
And I sing my praises to the heavens in quiet exaltation.
I'm coming home on Saturday.
posted by Sarah at
4:05 PM
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Oh, Harry...
Me (on the phone): Sweetheart! You're so hard to get ahold of...
Jenn: I'm on page 510 of Harry Potter...
Me: *dies*
She was on page 200 yesterday. ;p
I'm thinking of wearing black rimmed glasses just BECAUSE at this rate~
Jenn: I'm on page 510 of Harry Potter...
Me: *dies*
She was on page 200 yesterday. ;p
I'm thinking of wearing black rimmed glasses just BECAUSE at this rate~
posted by Sarah at
4:03 PM
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This is what I remember...
A calm day. Air heavy and hanging in stasis as I breathe large gulps of it- hungrily waiting for the taste of sea to consume me. It comes, eventually- soft and delicate at first- hinting at a deep expanse I have only ever dreamed about. I catch my first glimpse of far off lines- where blue meets blue- between buildings that stand like giants- blocking me from the water. For a brief instant, I can not see it... and then we are there.
Salt grass thrusts dusty fingers through the sand- shifting against each other as they are parted by human legs- human feet treading on their course backs. I have taken off my sandles- burning sand a welcome change from normal leather. Here, there is magic in each tread as I set my virgin toes upon the glistening brown- tossed for millenia beneath the waters I have only dreamed of.
There She is- long and luxurious- sunning Herself beneath the crisping sun. Soft waves- from a distance!- crash upon the swimmers- tossing small bodies with care and some indiscretion. Some times, it appears she is gentle- holding up humanity and letting them rise above the waves, instead of beneath. The next instant, she changes- slapping them about with the unruly force of some mother bear. I watch this happen- I listen to the waves- I smell the salt and my eyes consume the color of blue no photograph could ever do justice. As I walk- faster now- towards the water... I realize that I had been waiting for this reunion for a very long time.
Though I had never seen Her- nor touched Her- nor been embraced or upheld or scolded by her water and brine and beauty... I had always known Her.
This is what I remember- the first time I saw the Sea...
Salt grass thrusts dusty fingers through the sand- shifting against each other as they are parted by human legs- human feet treading on their course backs. I have taken off my sandles- burning sand a welcome change from normal leather. Here, there is magic in each tread as I set my virgin toes upon the glistening brown- tossed for millenia beneath the waters I have only dreamed of.
There She is- long and luxurious- sunning Herself beneath the crisping sun. Soft waves- from a distance!- crash upon the swimmers- tossing small bodies with care and some indiscretion. Some times, it appears she is gentle- holding up humanity and letting them rise above the waves, instead of beneath. The next instant, she changes- slapping them about with the unruly force of some mother bear. I watch this happen- I listen to the waves- I smell the salt and my eyes consume the color of blue no photograph could ever do justice. As I walk- faster now- towards the water... I realize that I had been waiting for this reunion for a very long time.
Though I had never seen Her- nor touched Her- nor been embraced or upheld or scolded by her water and brine and beauty... I had always known Her.
This is what I remember- the first time I saw the Sea...
posted by Sarah at
2:35 PM
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005
"Did my heart love 'til now? Forswear it sight, for I never saw true beauty 'til this night."
posted by Sarah at
2:53 PM
1 Comments
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
The Spirit in the Sky...
When I'm not in my car- I have no CD player... which is unfortunate, as there really is no radio station I love in this area. I either have it tuned to classical or nothing. Recently, I've begun listening to the Oldies station again... It was my Father's favorite, growing up- he always had it on, so most of the songs are still *my* favorites- and I've heard every one. I am so serious. ;p
One of my ABSOLUTE favorites- that puts me in the BEST of moods- is Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky." I had forgotten my lunch today- so I drove to the corner gas station on my break to buy something. Anything. Ice cream (;p) in hand- I drove back, in a decidedly better mood. The windows were rolled down- I sang at the top of my lungs- and this is what reverbrated in my heart... And half of Buffalo. XD
"When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky.
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky,
That's where I'm gonna go- when I die-
When I die and they lay me to rest,
Gonna go to the place that's the best..."
One of my ABSOLUTE favorites- that puts me in the BEST of moods- is Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky." I had forgotten my lunch today- so I drove to the corner gas station on my break to buy something. Anything. Ice cream (;p) in hand- I drove back, in a decidedly better mood. The windows were rolled down- I sang at the top of my lungs- and this is what reverbrated in my heart... And half of Buffalo. XD
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky.
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky,
That's where I'm gonna go- when I die-
When I die and they lay me to rest,
Gonna go to the place that's the best..."
posted by Sarah at
3:14 PM
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It's all in how you see it...
My sweetheart just made me laugh very, very hard... I'm in such a good mood right now- even though today hasn't been going exactly as planned. Love and joy change everything, oftentimes~
Thank you so much, baby. *kiss*
Thank you so much, baby. *kiss*
posted by Sarah at
1:25 PM
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Monday, July 18, 2005
"You can regret that rosebushes have thorns or you can rejoice that thornbushes have roses." Anonymous
posted by Sarah at
10:30 AM
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Sunday, July 17, 2005
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Anyone who loves cats...
This makes me feel much better about the new pope. After so many horrible rumors, I was quite frightened of the changes he might bring.
But seriously. Anyone who adores cats THAT much can only be a good person, right~?
But seriously. Anyone who adores cats THAT much can only be a good person, right~?
posted by Sarah at
4:50 PM
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Finns and Flipppers
As an embarrassing anecdote, I have become rather caught up in the learning process over at The Bubble Nest. I've owned bettas for about fifteen years now- but there is still so much to learn! I found the site through a concern for my newest baby's (a birthday present from a very understanding sister~ ;p) eating habits...
Finn de Palo is a very beautiful boy, indeed. His coloration is similar to that of an Opal- hence his rendered last name. He has a soft, iridescent body of white and grey that shimmers in the light- his fins are red with tapering bits of blue that are, yet again, iridescent. He works with me in my cubicle and loves it!
He's certainly much flashier than my current betta boy- "the love of my little, fishy life" as I affectionately call him~ ;p Dante has lived with me for two and a half YEARS at this point. I have NEVER had a betta live that long before- and I positively adore him. Yes. I adore a fish. Don't start. It's me.
What has me overly excited is the fact that I will FINALLY be able to set up my fish aquarium soon! I was gifted with a new ten gallon tank two Christmases ago- yet couldn't set it up because I really didn't have a permanent address- at any point I was going to move because of Jenn. But here we are! We finally have an apartment! We're moving! It's time to bring out the fishies!!
And yes, that's one of the top ten reasons why I can't wait to move:
1. Jenn
2. My sweetheart
3. My honey
4. The love of my life
5. The pulse of my heart
6. The most beautiful pisces in the world...
7. Miss-I-always-drive-twenty-miles-over-the-speed-limit
8. My favorite author
9. The hottest Pennsylvanian on the planet
10. Fish
;p
Finn de Palo is a very beautiful boy, indeed. His coloration is similar to that of an Opal- hence his rendered last name. He has a soft, iridescent body of white and grey that shimmers in the light- his fins are red with tapering bits of blue that are, yet again, iridescent. He works with me in my cubicle and loves it!
He's certainly much flashier than my current betta boy- "the love of my little, fishy life" as I affectionately call him~ ;p Dante has lived with me for two and a half YEARS at this point. I have NEVER had a betta live that long before- and I positively adore him. Yes. I adore a fish. Don't start. It's me.
What has me overly excited is the fact that I will FINALLY be able to set up my fish aquarium soon! I was gifted with a new ten gallon tank two Christmases ago- yet couldn't set it up because I really didn't have a permanent address- at any point I was going to move because of Jenn. But here we are! We finally have an apartment! We're moving! It's time to bring out the fishies!!
And yes, that's one of the top ten reasons why I can't wait to move:
1. Jenn
2. My sweetheart
3. My honey
4. The love of my life
5. The pulse of my heart
6. The most beautiful pisces in the world...
7. Miss-I-always-drive-twenty-miles-over-the-speed-limit
8. My favorite author
9. The hottest Pennsylvanian on the planet
10. Fish
;p
posted by Sarah at
4:08 PM
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The Little Things...
This is what will make Sarah happy: driving in to work and hearing the Brandenburg Concerto #5 on WNED (Which happens to be her *favorite* Bach piece of all time). Coming in to work and nibbling on a double chocolate chip muffin that happens to be home made.
It's always been the little things...
It's always been the little things...
posted by Sarah at
11:25 AM
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Grateful
I just returned from taking my sister to the ER.
I've never felt so grateful- so drained and so completely happy- in all my life. It ended up being something so little- and I thought it was going to be something so big...
I am SO. GRATEFUL.
*cries and hugs her sister*
I've never felt so grateful- so drained and so completely happy- in all my life. It ended up being something so little- and I thought it was going to be something so big...
I am SO. GRATEFUL.
*cries and hugs her sister*
posted by Sarah at
8:06 PM
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Friday, July 08, 2005
Birthday Girl
So much sadness filled the fifth... Much more happened after Missy's death... Jenn held my hand while I wept shamelessly- hot tears of pain that would not stop for quite some time.
My sweetheart made that moment bearable. Her eyes filled with a comfort I needed so badly- and then she held me. In her arms, everything will be all right- and though there were still more tears- still more pain- it ... was going to be okay.
My birthday was a quiet day filled with love and family. We were all still ... quiet ... after what happened- something I refuse to talk about. I was gifted with things from the heart- soft wishes from those I love.
The gifts my sweetheart gave me actually transcend what I ever could have imagined. She is the most amazing person- and she knows me better than I know myself.
What particularly astonishes me is that her creativity knows absolutely no bounds. She is an artist- in every true sense of the word.
On Thursday- she surprised me. We went to MarineLand~ And there- I saw my first Dolphin.
Yesterday was good. The horror of the start of the week had already begun fading- and it all felt... so much better. I laughed and smiled more than I have in a very long time.
I just wanted to thank those that sent their well wishes and kind thoughts... They brought me the intended warmth and kindness... Thank you so much...
My sweetheart made that moment bearable. Her eyes filled with a comfort I needed so badly- and then she held me. In her arms, everything will be all right- and though there were still more tears- still more pain- it ... was going to be okay.
My birthday was a quiet day filled with love and family. We were all still ... quiet ... after what happened- something I refuse to talk about. I was gifted with things from the heart- soft wishes from those I love.
The gifts my sweetheart gave me actually transcend what I ever could have imagined. She is the most amazing person- and she knows me better than I know myself.
What particularly astonishes me is that her creativity knows absolutely no bounds. She is an artist- in every true sense of the word.
On Thursday- she surprised me. We went to MarineLand~ And there- I saw my first Dolphin.
Yesterday was good. The horror of the start of the week had already begun fading- and it all felt... so much better. I laughed and smiled more than I have in a very long time.
I just wanted to thank those that sent their well wishes and kind thoughts... They brought me the intended warmth and kindness... Thank you so much...
posted by Sarah at
1:46 PM
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Life
My sweetheart realizes that my grieving needed to take a certain direction... and it did.
We had been talking for some time on adopting a puppy. We knew it was either going to be a Collie or a Sheltie since we both love those breeds so much. However- since we are soon going to be moving into an apartment, that somewhat took away one of the two. It would be unfair to keep a larger dog in an apartment- so the natural choice was a Sheltie.
The night that Missy died, I sobbed myself to sleep. The next morning- between tea and more crying and tea- I began researching Sheltie breeders. My family has been breeding dogs for the past twenty-five years- I know what to look for, and I'll know it when I find it. I shot a few emails to Jenn and then- I found the breeder. She loves her dogs as much as we love ours- it was a given.
I emailed her with alot of hope- and she responded back. There were a few litters that had already been born- and one that was about to.
If you look on the bottom of this page, you'll see a litter of pups by Jason and Ramona. It looks like we might be taking the Blue Merle boy out of this litter~
Many people need to take time after the death of a dog- I can't do that. My heart needs something to fill the emptiness- something to dull that pain.
I am very, very excited about this- though it combats the sadness... Strange emotions that fill my heart. I suppose it could be rounded out to restlessness...
Mm. There's so much to look forward to.
We had been talking for some time on adopting a puppy. We knew it was either going to be a Collie or a Sheltie since we both love those breeds so much. However- since we are soon going to be moving into an apartment, that somewhat took away one of the two. It would be unfair to keep a larger dog in an apartment- so the natural choice was a Sheltie.
The night that Missy died, I sobbed myself to sleep. The next morning- between tea and more crying and tea- I began researching Sheltie breeders. My family has been breeding dogs for the past twenty-five years- I know what to look for, and I'll know it when I find it. I shot a few emails to Jenn and then- I found the breeder. She loves her dogs as much as we love ours- it was a given.
I emailed her with alot of hope- and she responded back. There were a few litters that had already been born- and one that was about to.
If you look on the bottom of this page, you'll see a litter of pups by Jason and Ramona. It looks like we might be taking the Blue Merle boy out of this litter~
Many people need to take time after the death of a dog- I can't do that. My heart needs something to fill the emptiness- something to dull that pain.
I am very, very excited about this- though it combats the sadness... Strange emotions that fill my heart. I suppose it could be rounded out to restlessness...
Mm. There's so much to look forward to.
posted by Sarah at
1:38 PM
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Sunday, July 03, 2005
I've never been inconsolable about things. I'm pretty good about it. Today seems different, though.
Our beloved Missy passed away yesterday- in my arms. We had her eleven years. I played with her as a puppy- I danced with her growing up- I played tag with her tail. I wrote the first lines of my first novel while I watched her give birth to a litter of pups. She was the most beautiful Collie in the world- and she had the smile to prove it.
She was so... old. So pitifully old- and still so proud and lovely. It was just... her time. But I cried into her ruff- I held her and I rocked her and I generally carried on. She looked into my eyes and then she was gone.
I'm... reeling from this. I really am. I don't know what to say.
Our beloved Missy passed away yesterday- in my arms. We had her eleven years. I played with her as a puppy- I danced with her growing up- I played tag with her tail. I wrote the first lines of my first novel while I watched her give birth to a litter of pups. She was the most beautiful Collie in the world- and she had the smile to prove it.
She was so... old. So pitifully old- and still so proud and lovely. It was just... her time. But I cried into her ruff- I held her and I rocked her and I generally carried on. She looked into my eyes and then she was gone.
I'm... reeling from this. I really am. I don't know what to say.
posted by Sarah at
11:09 PM
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Friday, July 01, 2005
Time
I'm about to turn twenty-one. What happened? Yesterday I was seventeen- short blonde curls getting in my eyes- long limbs curled up beneath me as I sat upon a decades old couch- writing my vampire stories in spiral notebooks. I wrote of love and lust- loss and light... And I scribbled poetry on the backs of notecards and tests- promising myself in quiet whispers that I would someday be published.
I'm about to turn twenty-one. Things are complicated now. Life is quicker- harder- deeper... It cuts grooves into time and takes away precious moments that no longer trail along quietly- a stream with no flow behind it.
I'm about to turn twenty-one. There are no more soft places- there is harsh reality. There's bills to pay. No fantasy here. I would trade credit cards for magic powers anyday- but when I was seventeen... which was more real?
When I was seventeen, I imagined. That's what I did. I almost lived within my worlds- I wrote novel after novel- poem after poem... breathing life into the characters I had created from my own heart.
I'm about to turn twenty-one. My short story is getting published in a book. My article is being published in a magazine. If these gifts had been given to me at seventeen, I would have wept and died and carried on like a child- for all my mature dances, I still held onto the child-like wonder and hope that I would become published. It's all I really cared about. Writing. Writing- it filled me.
Now, there is love. And I am filled- in such a different fashion.
I'm about to turn twenty-one...
Ah. How times change.
I'm about to turn twenty-one. Things are complicated now. Life is quicker- harder- deeper... It cuts grooves into time and takes away precious moments that no longer trail along quietly- a stream with no flow behind it.
I'm about to turn twenty-one. There are no more soft places- there is harsh reality. There's bills to pay. No fantasy here. I would trade credit cards for magic powers anyday- but when I was seventeen... which was more real?
When I was seventeen, I imagined. That's what I did. I almost lived within my worlds- I wrote novel after novel- poem after poem... breathing life into the characters I had created from my own heart.
I'm about to turn twenty-one. My short story is getting published in a book. My article is being published in a magazine. If these gifts had been given to me at seventeen, I would have wept and died and carried on like a child- for all my mature dances, I still held onto the child-like wonder and hope that I would become published. It's all I really cared about. Writing. Writing- it filled me.
Now, there is love. And I am filled- in such a different fashion.
I'm about to turn twenty-one...
Ah. How times change.
posted by Sarah at
3:19 PM
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Kitty-kitty~
I'd have someone I'd love you to meet- his name is Daniel- and he's now our new baby~
I firmly believe he's a little miracle. He did something wonderful for Jenn yesterday- and I owe this little bundle of fluff quite a bit at this point. *chuckles* I know he a little miracle... actually- he's a little angel who washed down from heaven in the rain- into the waiting arms of a beautiful Pisces who needed a reminder of her wings, just then.
I love him already and I've never held him- he has something extraodinary about him... and he's going to spend the rest of his little fuzzy life with us.
*very, very happy*
I firmly believe he's a little miracle. He did something wonderful for Jenn yesterday- and I owe this little bundle of fluff quite a bit at this point. *chuckles* I know he a little miracle... actually- he's a little angel who washed down from heaven in the rain- into the waiting arms of a beautiful Pisces who needed a reminder of her wings, just then.
I love him already and I've never held him- he has something extraodinary about him... and he's going to spend the rest of his little fuzzy life with us.
*very, very happy*
posted by Sarah at
2:08 PM
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