SeaHeart~

Monday, October 31, 2005

This is Halloween

This is my favorite day of the year. Dreams are wisps of mist and leaf- whirling about on the winds of a gracefully departing Autumn. The arms of a world always changing- always shifting- embrace the quickly encroaching night with comfortable splendor. Trees sigh, waiting for the dusting of darkness to fall upon their bright leaves and brighter wishes... they will soon be bare and silent- dreaming of a coming year full of brilliant possibilities.

Children- with dragging costumes- fill the streets with a glee that is unrivaled. This is a night of mischief and delightful mayhem- when their little tummies can be filled with candy, quested for and found with great adventures!

It is a time of merry-making and moments of laughter (or fear!)- as we watch the year slowly leaving us. Winter comes, curling snow white fingers about the shoulders of a drowsy autumn, as we fill the local haunted houses, buy immense amounts of chocolate... and wait- our treasure bowls brimming- for the children to arrive.

And I- I revel in this... in all. This is a day when we can all become children again- enjoying the simple pleasures of food and company- or scaring ourselves silly with badly masked "villains!"

Whatever your cup of tea this day- it is my greatest wish that you enjoy it with the utmost happiness.

Happy Halloween, my dears.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Memories

This is what I wrote... On October 18, 2003:

~*~


And the baby girl goes 'round and 'round-
Dancing her dreams, till the moon goes down-
She shows her heart- she's not afraid-
I wish that I could be that way.


She sent a letter. Oh- what kind of letter? A letter that won't be understood. Everything's understood on some level- why is she so worried- is she regretting? Because she never shows anyone anything, anymore- no true emotions- no true feelings. This could change everything. But- that's wonderful! Why is she afraid? She's never known anything else- she has always done as others will- not as she herself wishes. She's breaking the cycle- no more magic mirrors. She can BE herself.

Perhaps... what you do comes back to you. She knows this. She's taken a fool's chance.

Perhaps... but even fool's have a little bit of luck, sometimes.

She spoke her heart- she actually spoke her heart.

Mm. Let's see what Fate decides.

In Remembrance of the Letter

I want to take a walk through the painted trees of Autumn
Nestle heart and hand within the mystery of earth,
I want to still remember- when I'm aged like the winter
That dances form from sadness, and life first does occur.

How lovely, this remembrance
How fated- like the spring time
To forge a path through silence
And the circling of the year...
Wouldn't it be perfect
To stand within this circle
And know- without a doubting-
That love's a breath away?

Like leaves that fade to dust, now
Like fond farewells in snow-fall
This knowledge would weigh heavy
Like lashes kissed with tears.

And oh, I would proclaim it-
Like the winds in bare-bone branches
That love will come as surely
As the turning of the fall.

~EK/SD 10.28.05

Thursday, October 27, 2005

All I Want is to be Your Harbor

The Vienna Teng concert last night was indescribable. We arrived at the Montage Grille close to eight o'clock... The venue was in Rochester- and we're in Buffalo... there's a few miles separating the two- and, apparently, MapQuest wanted us to get off on an exist that didn't exist. x.X There was much frustration in the quest for the Magical Exit 15.

After a call to the Montage- and conversations with a few people who had absolutely no idea about any road in the entire state- I spoke with someone who, fabulously enough, could direct us all the way to the Grille. I was ready to cry with joy. Seriously. ;p

I actually met Vienna in the ladies' room before the concert. She was warming up with her back-up singers (they apparently had no rooms for her), and was so sweet! Meeting one of your favorite vocalists in a loo is not the best place to meet, however. I felt... sacriligeous. e.e

She gave the most beautiful concert that man has ever heard. I am so serious. Her voice is liquid fire- her piano skills are absolutely unmatched- and this is coming from someone who was a Music Performance major. I have seen it all- but she outdid everything.

During the break, Jenn and I introduced ourselves to her- and I asked her to please play "Lullaby for a Stormy Night." I proceeded to tell her exactly how much that song meant to us- and how we were going to be using it in the wedding.

Not only did she play it- she spoke about our story! ;-; I was gripping Jenn's hand so tightly, that I could feel both of our pulses together, as the words we both knew so well echoed in the room...

Afterwards, we spoke with her again- when she asked more details about the ceremony... and she signed our CD.

It was a dream come true to meet this talented and dedicated pianist. ;-; She is so kind and sweet- and such an amazing vocalist...

AND. She played a song that has not yet been released.

About getting married- in a long line- in San Francisco... "Even if they take it away, we'll still have it in our hearts..."

What could that POSSIBLY be referring to? :D

(I love my sweetie. ;-;)

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

May the Force be with You.

On Monday, Kelly, Maddie, Aaron, Scott and myself went to see One Man Star Wars. I can not *begin* to explain how wonderful- how hilarious... or how true to the movies it was. ;p He was able to make the *sounds* of the AT-AT Walkers and the Probe Droids... and precious R2-D2 perfectly. ;-; I mean... how does a human's vocal cords possibly create those sounds? It. Was. Amazing.

(Sarah's lack of eloquence and verbal usage equates itself to the fact that you very, very, very much need to see it.)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Changing

"There is a beautiful spirit breathing now
Its mellow richness on the clustered trees,
And from a beaker full of richest dyes,
Pouring new glory on the autumn woods."
- H. W. Longfellow

Thursday, October 20, 2005

The Invisible Blonde

Sarah: *trots back to her desk*
Jim: I thought you left?
Sarah: No... I went to put my paperwork in the... paperwork thingie.
Jim: Liar.
Sarah: Okay- I'm not really here.
Jim: Okay.

Deadlines

I need to have a short story to Bella Books by November 1'st. My proposal (completed) with four column ideas needs to be sent to SageWoman also by that date. The article for the GLBT magazine is due on Monday (THIS Monday). December 1'st is a short story to Bold Strokes Books... and there are countless due dates in school- and in my esoteric studies. I'm just... drowning in due dates.

This month is moving far too quickly- I never have the time I need to write what I need. And when I *do* find the time... it's either dryness at the creative well, or I'm creative for some sort of fictional idea that *none* of my publishers want. Save me from my own creativity...

I want to work on novels- and I have a bunch of journalistic and short story assignments to work on. What I need to do... is learn how to focus the muse.

I used to simply write. I would sit down and channel anything and everything I was thinking of. This was known as "journaling." ;p Then, I would gather together the now focused pieces of insurgent muse and twine them to form my novels. That was such different work from what I now find myself involved in... and I absolutely need to start thinking of ways to channel this new side to my craft.

Ideas for novels and short stories fill me- spilling out into my journal entries and dreams. Ideas for journalistic endeavors, however, come harder. I need to find a quiet place- notebook in hand- and write an outline for the two upcoming editorial places. Preferably with a mugful of chai next to my little blonde self.

It sounds like I need a date with a coffee shop...

Dream a Little Dream

It seems that I am now a contributing editor for the GLBT magazine of western New York.

We are unveiling the magazine that takes over for its counterpart- Voices- in November. At that time, the first lesbian column in any magazine for the area will also be unveiled.

And I'm writing it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Pen and Ink and Writers that Think (Oh my...)

Hot chocolate makes me feel very happy. *nuzzles her mug*

There is so much that needs to be done this week on the writing front. And it's not even November yet!

I have an opportunity to be a pioneer. And it's wonderful and fabulous and scary all at once. Mm... Be careful what you wish for~

All of my life- since the earliest memories- the thought of being a published author motivated me like nothing else. I began penning novels when I was ten years old... short stories were created much earlier. Writing fuled my soul- impassioned my life. I could not separate myself from the being of ink and paper that stained my skin and burrowed itself deep within me. I was driven by nothing- save for words.

The stars inspired me- the earth cradled me. I wrote of heroines long known and long forgotten, dredging from myth and legend a new woman that I imbued with all the things that had seemed to be lost from this world. I wrote of love and valor- honesty and virtue in the dim haze of night, with pen clutched in tired fingers. I breathed nothing but what I sought to teach... I wanted- more than all of my wishes- to hold out my hands to this earth, and reveal to them the little bouquet I had spent my life growing.

And now. I have this chance.

And I am grateful beyond measure.

(Follow your dreams. They just may come true.)

Monday, October 17, 2005

In Which Sarah Has a Brief Soliloquy

Today has been like: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh."

That is all. x.X

Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Right to Live

This poses some scary questions. Granted- this involves insemination. But what if doctors started taking this to other levels? What if- because of sexual orientation- a doctor could refuse to do surgery... or save someone's life?

Should a doctor- any doctor- refuse a patient service because of his or her own personal beliefs? When they became doctors, didn't they promise to help all?

We are human. We all live upon this planet. We all breathe air.

When is society going to understand this?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Pearls of Thought

My sister- on learning that I was volunteering for AIDS Community Services:

"Community service? Are you kidding? Did you enroll in jail? Am I going to
see you on the side of the road in an orange jumpsuit? (Can I take a picture?)"

;p

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Come out, come out...

Today is National Coming Out Day! Go surprise someone with some fabulous, little words:

I'M GAY!!!!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Unicorn Jelly

This is the best comic- evvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr. ;-; *lovelovelove*


Kitty-kitty

Tomorrow, Emily Dickinson will be 100 days old!!!

She's such a love bug. I woke up this morning after the third snooze, and sat up muzzily in bed. She had been laying in the kitchen- but when she saw me sit up, she came running to see me, leapt upon the bed, and began purring like a faulty engine as she "loved on" me. ;-; I love our baby so much...

We purchased a small crescent moon and star collar for her over the weekend... she looks so grown-up in it! It's still too big for her, and we don't leave it on her during the day- but she takes to it very well (which surprised me. x.X)! She notices everything, so having her wear a collar and ignore it was a magical feat...

~*~


Pendrific P's birthday party is on the 12'th. He shall then be a whopping four years old! *cheers* We shall celebrate with much partying, I'm sure~

P loves his rainbow balls, so I believe that those shall be his present- it doesn't take much to make the Pirate happy... *chuckles*

Scaaaaary...

Princess is extraordinarily bad, and she will pay for the therapy I will have to have because of her~ ;p

Last night Jenn and I introduced my sister to Buca Di Beppo- our favorite restaurant. Which was fabulous beyond all mortal reason, as usual. :D Oh my goodness, I love that place... and Laura gave it two thumbs up- which can only be a good thing.

Then, after a game and ice cream, we watched Scary Movie II- because Laura had to introduce us to something. And I am traumatized. Scary Movie III was actually good- I could only sit through half of Scary Movie I... but SMII has GOT to take the cake for stupidity, crassness... and pushing every envelope known to man. x.X

Kid loved it. ;p

So she's bad. Very, very bad! Laura, you are so dead. XD

On Romance

I drove my kid sister to my parent's last night, and- on my way back to our apartment- I happened to catch the tale end of Lovers and Other Strangers, my favorite radio program. They recite poetry and short stories on different literary themes, interspersed with modern music that accompany the pieces nicely.

This show was apparently on the fleeting quality of Romance. There was a study done recently that practically guaranteed the fact that romance lasts eighteen to thirty-six months, and then it's down to a day to day grind that includes nothing of love.

I tend to strongly disagree. On December 1'st, my sweetheart and I will have been together for two years. There has been nothing of a "day to day grind" that suffused any moment we have spent together. We have grown deeper and deeper in love- the exact opposite of what the study claims.

I am a perpetual romantic- but there may be a logical explanation to our romance. Jenn and I lived in a long distance relationship. We were separated for long weeks- long, painful weeks that I can recall all too clearly. The pain I felt during that time was heart breaking. I do not think that I will ever be able to forget exactly what I wanted, so very, very badly... and exactly what I could not have.

We wrote letters and emails, we called each other every day... but a human is mortal- made of flesh and blood. These things were not embraces or kisses. They were paper. They were flickering screens, or soft whispers on a phone line that measured hundreds of miles. They were not what we craved. Or needed.

A long distance relationship has one good thing to it. You will never take for granted what you have... you will never take for granted a single moment in your beloved's presence... because you know it for what it is. A precious gift.

People that are going through hard times, or have difficult relationships because of selfishness... or lack of listening skills- or any other number of trivial, self-centered reasons... I only wish that they could have experienced a long distance relationship. I believe that the lessons learned from such a test and trial are invaluable.

I will treat my beautiful Pisces as the angel she is- because I know... exactly what she is worth.

She is perfectly priceless.

Maybe they should study that.

Friday, October 07, 2005

On Butterflies

"'How does one become a butterfly?' she asked pensively.
'You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.'"
-Trina Paulus

In the Middle of the Night...

At 2:15 in the morning, we were awakened by an ear shattering alarm... An alarm had gone off in our apartment.

We only have two- carbon monoxide and smoke. I pulled on a robe, completely disoriented, and staggered out of the bedroom, Jenn with me. We assumed it was the smoke alarm, and tried to turn it off (Meanwhile, I was getting more and more frightened- we have many smokers in our building). I unplugged the battery, but the alarm still sounded. It was so deafening, we could barely think.

Jenn found the Carbon Monoxide alarm- it read "peak level." I dislodged the batteries and called 911. What then followed was a few minutes of crates and cats and kittens- and then we were standing in our living room as the fire truck came. There were four fire fighters who took different readings and went throughout the entire apartment, while we answered questions.

It turns out that the Carbon Monoxide alarm had malfunctioned. There was not a trace of the stuff in our apartment.

I felt so horrible that we had dragged them out for nothing, and said so repeatedly. But I was so relieved that nothing was the matter... that everything was safe.

;-; Still. That was incredibly traumatic at two in the morning.

By the time everything had died down, it was three o'clock. We were both wide awake- but exhausted!- and couldn't sleep. We had the best conversation ever, but I wonder if it would have been so funny if we hadn't been so tired or stressed~

I love my honey. ;-; I am so, so glad that nothing... absolutely nothing... happened.

*grateful*

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Celestial Tools

"Lunabar puts a lunar almanack in your taskbar. It accurately shows the current phase of the moon, the times of moonrise, moon southing, and moonset, and the zodiacal constellation and sign. The phase, constellation or zodiacal sign is shown in a tooltip window when your mouse hovers over the icon, and a full lunar almanack is just a double-click away."

StarDate's Moon Phase Calendar provides the daily moon phase in a lovely, visual format, while StarDate itself explains what is happening in the heavens tonight.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Dedicated to my Beauty

(I have the most amazing inspiration~)

Go read a poem...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Cauldrons of all Shapes and Sizes

I asked my mother for her slow cooker this morning... I haven't cooked in one in years, and I miss it. There's something so wonderfully simple about them- it's magic. Add the ingredients to it and leave for the day... when you get home, you have a sumptuous feast awaiting you. Autumn makes me think of the coziness a slow cooker provides... It will be good to have one again. Anyway, I would rather concentrate on baked goods. I think Jenn likes those a wee bit more~

Somewhat related- I think that this is the cutest flower arrangement ever. ;-;

Dad and the Aliens (Take Two)

This is what my father emailed me about the events in the sky at his party:

"i called channel 2 weather man kevin occonell about the white dots we saw on sunday....he probably thought i was NUTS!!!!!!.......i don't believe he didn't call back lol"

;p Reason 10,026,451,340 why I love my Daddums.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Eclipses and Aliens

Ah, the joy of having a celestially obsessed family~ :D

Jenn and I visited my parents (and kid sister) on Sunday for my Dad's birthday party. When we arrived, my Dad was laying on one of our grassy hills, staring at the sky. I thought he was simply taking a nap- (like old timers do ;p)- so we rushed inside with the balloon and gift bags. In a moment, my Mum called us: "Can you go outside and sit with your father? He says there are things in the sky. *roll of eyes*"

My Dad's favorite movies are 2001: A Space Odyssey, Star Wars, and anything with "Star Trek" in the title- it's quite obvious who I received my obsession with space from. Some of my favorite childhood memories are having my Dad teach me all of the constellations- and spending hours with him beneath the night sky- watching the stars. I firmly believe him when he says there are things in the sky- so we went outside.

There were things. Small, white objects- moving at varying speeds across the heavens, and in different directions. They came a few moments after each other- and after using binoculars, I can safely say that they were NOT airplanes or jets. Everyone sat on the lawn and contemplated the sky for about an hour while my Dad pointed them out- he still always saw them first. ;p

His actual birthday is today- and this takes place on it. Pretty cool b-day gift for my Daddums~

I love my Dad so much- watching the unexplained things in the sky- while still cracking jokes and just... enjoying the company- was a memory I will treasure for always...