These past few days I've been so horrible about doing my yoga... and I'm feeling guilty about it. What? Guilty about not following through with my spiritual practice? Yeah. I'm still a recovering Catholic... but somehow, I feel that I can't blame that alone.

That's the thing... I tend to blame outside influences on my supposed "failings." Not doing Yoga for three mornings in a row is hardly a failing, but I'm perceiving it as such. I blame the time I have to wake up. Six thirty? Faaaar too early for a complete non-morning person. But I could try. What about my pain? Every morning, no matter what, I will experience pain. There's no easy solution, and the yoga helps. It hurts, but then it helps and I should be smart enough to realize that the help lasts so much longer than the hurt. There's no excuse in that.

So, really, my excuses are completely flat. Technically, there is no reason that I have not done Yoga for three mornings. And admitting that makes me feel better, actually...

In that, there is peace. In realizing that I have no excuses to fall back on makes me feel free, amazingly enough. By taking responsibility, I am free.

That seems like an oxymoron of sorts.

But I don't think so.

It's called Serenity.

Tomorrow morning I'll wake up and think about my realization- think about the fact that Yoga is my responsibility entirely. If I decide to get up and do it, if I decide to lay in bed and think about it... these are my choices. If I do get up, I honor myself and my spirit. I help myself. And this is no one's responsibility but mine.

It puts everything into perspective...